The day after the election I had a flight to Dublin. Like many others, I woke up at 4:00am and opened Google, knowing in my gut what I would find.
I sobbed every single day of that trip because I feared what was coming. My family emigrated from Venezuela when I was a kid, fleeing after Chavez’s first coup attempt. I am very personally familiar with what happens when there aren’t appropriate consequences for criminal, fascist authoritarians who attempt to seize power they weren’t granted.
What does that look like? Almost every single family member I have has left Venezuela. Most are lucky if they have an immediate family member in the same city, let alone the same country. I saw family maybe once a year, and most I haven’t seen in 10 or 15 years. I grew up without a relationship with a vast majority of my cousins, aunts and uncles, and grandparents. News from home sounded a lot like our news now, in fact - stories of corruption, kidnappings, and political violence.
I spent my Irish vacation cycling between panic attacks, rage, and deep grief. Visions of my “baby” brother being sent to a country he’s never lived in. Of having no choice but to leave this country, the one that has the only family I’ve ever really known, because I grew up thousands of miles from my closest relatives (again because of a fascist authoritarian).
Endlessly ruminating.
Where the f- would I go? Would I have to go alone? Where’s my passport? Where are my naturalization papers? Should I start carrying them around? Is that worse? What would happen to my dog if I had to leave? Could he come with me? How do I get a dog a visa? Where the f are my naturalization papers? What if I can’t find them? What would I do with my business? With my clients? When is the right time to start prepping? Is it too late already? Am I over reacting? What if I under react and then it’s too late? On and on and on.
Terrified. All for the crime of… moving to another country?
If you’re wondering, we are all naturalized citizens (except my little brother who was born here). We were legal residents and green card holders for about 15 years before we went through the naturalization process when I was a junior in college. We’re also white, most of us speak English without an accent, and we live in Minnesota. Realistically, we are extremely lucky and unlikely to be targeted by any this - for now.
And for many of us, that’s the important part. For now.
Because while me and my family are lucky right now, it may not always be this way. History shows us what has happened with this kind of “leadership” before. If you don’t see what’s happening in LA and across the country and feel an immense amount of dread, well, you’re just probably a little farther back from the fire than some of us. Or maybe you need to be more intentional about diversifying your news sources (sorry if the D word is triggering!) Either way, when those of us that are standing between you and the fire are gone, you might feel the flames start to lick at your feet instead.
For many, the horrifying effects of these immigration policies are already impacting them. Countless stories of wrongful deportations, of agents showing up masked and kidnapping people off the street with little to no documentation or communication. Of families tearfully separating. It’s very difficult for me to try to wrap my head around the kind of fear those people are/were experiencing.
If you think they are only kidnapping and deporting the “violent criminals” I’m begging you to look at another news source and spend a little time reading a couple news articles (emphasis on NEWS). Because obviously, the general consensus is pretty unanimously in favor of deporting violent criminals. The important part here is that they actually have to be violent criminals, therefore they need have been charged and convicted of a crime, and therefore have to have been given a trial - i.e. due process!
No, being undocumented is not a criminal offense, it is a civil offense equivalent to jaywalking or speeding.
I feel overwhelmed by the enormity of how insane this all is. Stuck between numb fear and tense anticipation. Deeply sad to see how easily people have fallen for the dehumanization tactics this administration loves. I know this is a feeling shared by many.
It's part of why I'm even sharing this in the first place - I think it helps to know we're not alone in how we're feeling when things feel too big. And to be super honest, I am being intentional in trying to humanize this and contextualize it for those who aren't personally impacted. This is very scary and very real.
And while this is obviously extremely personal for me, it's also just as important to me to be very loud about my values. And in case there's any confusion, this administration is pretty much the antithesis of everything I believe in.
I’ll end this post with some resources if you’re interested in learning or engaging more:
some photos of your fav venezuelan gang members
💛 💙 ❤️
